Horse Sense and the Power of Forgiveness

I attended a local dinner and awards event last evening and was profoundly moved by one of the speakers.   Jane, a well-regarded chaplain offered her insights into forgiveness, prosperity and healing through a personal story.

Years before she was asked by a doctor to accompany him on patient interviews to determine potential organ donors.  She had willingly accepted, though clearly humbled by the thought of having to choose who would receive life affirming organs and who would not.

THE INTERVIEW OF A LIFETIME

 “ Cross Ross” was as negative as they come.  He complained that while waiting for a heart transplant, his wife was spending all his money, his company was tanking and his children had not once come to visit.  Additionally, the nurses caring for him were stupid.   He demanded a new heart citing the news that three young teens had perished in a car accident a day before and one of their organs would do.  He offered to make a large donation to the hospital to expedite matters and if he didn’t get what he wanted NOW, he offered to make a lot of trouble.

The next interview was a man named Roger. He spoke softly about how much he loved his family, how grateful he was to be in such good care.  He also mourned the loss of the three young teens so tragically murdered by a drunken drive.  He grieved for the surviving parents and offered prayers for their healing.  He had kids of his own and wanted to live so he could see them married and be a granddad.  If he didn’t get a new heart, he accepted that the lord had better plans for him.

Later the doctor inquired who might be the best candidate for a heart transplant?

The chaplain replied she believed Roger deserved it, admitting ‘Cross Ross’ was difficult to have compassion for.  Even so, she found it all to be a very difficult decision to make.

The doctor agreed that Roger should receive the heart transplant, but not for the reasons the chaplain had cited.  A recent medical discovery proclaimed that a patient who was habitually angry produced a sticky, toxic substance in the body that eventually rejected a transplanted organ.  On the other hand, a patient who was at peace with life was a much better candidate for successful transplant.  As the hospital was not in the business of giving out transplants to fail, Roger would receive the heart.

WHAT KEEPS FORGIVENSS FROM FOR GIVING?

What is it that keeps us from letting go of hurt and anger? What keep us from letting in forgiveness?  My own belief is that humans are the only species on the planet that can live from birth to the grave fanning the flames of judgment.

 

If we have been wronged, feel hurt or betrayed we will tell the story to ourselves and others over and over again, each time creating that ‘sticky substance’ around our heart and other vital organs, poisoning our minds, our bodies and our possibilities for freedom.

I’ve been an Equine Guided Educator since 2002 and worked with hundreds of people in my programs.  I am convinced that no matter what education, title or station individuals may have arrived to; each becomes their own self-fulfilling prophecy and limiting factor by how they judge themselves and/or others.

Observing and being in the company of horses has been an amazing source of inspiration and healing to my both myself and my clients. 

Horses are so present with each other, each   with its own distinct personality and push into the herd.  They don’t live in their stories, incapable of judging.   If a horse gets into a spat with another horse about something, they squeal, kick; sometimes bite -and then it is over.  Five minutes later they are eating next to one another as if nothing had transpired. By example, horses offer an inspirational and profound example to help humans’ bridge the unforgivable gap.

  When our judge is loose and empowered, ego gives way, energy is constricted and hope disappears from view.  How then do humans open up to the bigger untapped observation field of possibility and hold others and ourselves the way the horse would?

 This re-awakening to ‘Horse Sense’ is the opportunity horses offer to raise our frequency awareness, hone our intuitive muscle, encourage our imaginations and observation practices by opening our hearts.

HORSE SENSE FOR THE 21ST CENTURY- PRACTICES IN FORGIVENESS

-       Forgiveness is FOR GIVING.

-       Make a commitment NOW to forgive those you hold captive in your wounded heart.

-       When we forgive someone else, we free ourselves. We don’t have to forget the hurt or invite our nemesis to tea but we do need to free ourselves from the source of our pain

-       Think about the person you need to forgive, allow yourself to remember a time when you shared something of value.  A time when the conversation flowed, when that person did something wonderful for you.  Let yourself “leap frog” from that time to now.  You are forgiving that person for yourself, to free the chains that bind you to limitation and regret.

-       Bless the experience for it taught you something worthwhile in spite of the hurt. 

-       Let the person and the story go and go forward living life.

By the way ‘Cross Ross’, moved to another hospital and received a heart transplant.  He complained that the staff at the new hospital was more stupid and inept that the previous one.  He died a short while later.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Horse Sense for the 21st Century™ Alyssa Aubrey, CEGE Incorporates horses in human development through Equine Guided Education. www.medicinehorseranch.org

 

 

 

Horse Sense and the Synchronistic Call of the Red Tail Hawk

Tuesday morning stirred up a wicked and windy announcement that blew the air with electricity snapping everything around me in its path.  I gazed across the vast range of land I live on and felt a storm  brewing.  Something was spinning out in the distance, planning it’s destined arrival.  Or was this unsettled energy in me?  Then I saw the strangest thing; two huge ravens fighting on the ground about 100 feet in front of me.   One was really beating the crap out of the other.  I’d never seen anything quite like it.

I told a friend about it, she remarked one must have really offended the other, or taken something?  Interesting interpretation I surmised, but it didn’t feel quite right.

 Looking at all the food around as they continued arguing over one tiny piece of something, I thought,  this is a metaphor for scarcity vs abundance… a conversation that’s really up for a lot of us these days.  I was in a personal situation where this issue was in my face too.

I’ve lived on land for about four years, but in my heart I feel like I have always belonged to this life.  The road signs from the environment, as I like to call them, are as obvious to me now as the English language.

Two years ago, I got tossed on the ground when a young horse spooked and ran over the top of me.  The result of those few seconds of chaos and confusion was a broken left shoulder. My bad luck was compounded by the fact that I had no health insurance, having just lost my only consulting client and all the benefits attached.  

The orthopedic doctor pronounced me "not able to have full motion in my left arm again."  Even with the $30,000.00 surgery he was willing to perform.

I drove home after the doctor’s visit that morning feeling like I was driving under water and in stunned disbelief.

Finally I made my way up the winding, two- mile paved road towards home and found my horse Sage standing all alone at the top of the hill by the barn gate.  I pulled my truck over and rolled down the window.   Looking up at her beautiful face, I'd said softly, "I believe it's a good day for a ride. What do you think?"

She licked, chewed and bopped her pretty head up and down a few times and she seemed to be the best counsel I'd had all morning.

BY FEEL

On a beautiful, bright, cool afternoon we rode on the hills and in the valleys of the land we both knew so well. 

I became increasingly aware of my thoughts.  What do I really care about?  How do I make a contribution from this place?  I didn’t want to react to the pressures I was currently facing.  I wanted to respond from grace and create something new.  My energy, resourcefulness and life force were precious currency.  I had traded on it every time I indulged myself in worry and fear.  I vowed I wouldn't do that anymore. 

I recalled we'd stopped to rest at the top of rattlesnake ridge. I watched the shadow from the sun inch its way across on the toe of my boot.  I hadn’t watched sun shadows since I was a kid.

On that day more than two years ago, I realized it was my life that had a limited range of motion. I'd been comfortably stuck, content to inch along.  The accident, job loss and all that came bundled along with it wasn’t penance. Instead, this was a necessary journey to reconnect and reinvigorate my life’s purpose and me.  I’d been off course.  The accident was a course correction. 

  Now two years later, my shoulder completely healed I stood next to my noble horse Sage facing into the East.  I reminded myself to listen deeply from my heart and trust even as I felt uncertain and apprehensive about pending events.    Just then a red- tail hawk circled above us and called. 

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Horse Sense for the 21st Century™ Alyssa Aubrey, CEGE Incorporates horses in human development through Equine Guided Education. www.medicinehorseranch.org

The One You Feed

My Equine Guided Education program,  Horse Sense for Women is meeting again in a couple of weeks.  I've been checking in with my students and with my horses for "cues" on what I'll present during the next class.

Last month I shared a story  first told to me by Tom Pinkson, a shaman I was privileged  to study with for some years.  The story goes like this...One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle between two “wolves”  is inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.  The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather:“Which wolf wins?” The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

 I instructed each women in the group take several pink post its,  a marker and to write words to feed her 'good wolf.' Once they each had a word or phrase, I asked each person to place the post it onto a flip chart.  We repeated the process until the chart was fully covered with words of self-love,  compassion, hope, kindness, dignity and so forth.  This powerful exercise had staying power as the learning from the weekend found integration into each persons life.

As I'm pondering the upcoming class,  I noticed a crumpled piece of pink paper in the barn.  I smoothed it open and smiled as I read the hand written words ' you are good enough the way you are.'

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Horse Sense for the 21st Century™ Alyssa Aubrey, CEGE Incorporates horses in human development through Equine Guided Education. www.thecenterforequineguidededucation.com.

Horse Sense for the 21st Century and then some

I finished my first blog last week. I was compelled to write about how powerful interpretations are and these beliefs often hold our feet to the fire. The question becomes are the beliefs we are holding as "Truth" serving us or, are they limiting stories that keep us stuck in our drama and our smallness.

Case in point....  I'm in a breakdown with a good friend. She has a story about me and I'm sorely tempted to have one about her in return. As I'm stirring the stew of my reactivity, I notice two huge ravens fighting. Upon closer inspection they are gripped in battle over what looks like a berry or a nut of some kind.

I've never seen two birds dukeing it out like that. My friend is somewhat of a bird expert and loves ravens. I emailed her and asked her what she thought of it all. Her response was that one probably offended the other in someway, or perhaps took something.

I considered her interpretation, and decided the ravens were a mirror for what was going on between the two of us. As I looked around at all the abundance of berries and nuts on the ground I thought-
The ravens are gripped by what looks like the only game in town and missing the opportunity for a bigger vision.  This is what fear, ego and scarcity look like.

I decided to offer my friend my understanding instead of my judgment- and the world looks much more spacious today.


WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Horse Sense for the 21st Century™ Alyssa Aubrey, CEGE Incorporates horses in human development through Equine Guided Education. www.thecenterforequineguidededucation.com.

Horse Sense Perspectives for the 21st Century

Last Friday morning I awaited the arrival of three new volunteers, eager to help out at my ranch. I care for 25 horses, many of whom are retired. Having a staff of volunteer help willing to muck, groom and tidy up sounds likes a necessary and handy offer. So why do I have so much resistance to the idea?

I’m a self-confessed, do it myself, “quasi hermit” living with my menagerie often preferring the sound of the wind rather than conversation.

My business coach has been after me for months to change my perspective on this subject and logically embrace that growing a business requires help. Finally, I succumbed.

Why then am I marching around the horse barn uttering the words, “this is exactly why I didn’t want to have to start managing a staff?”

Because today I am also awaiting the arrival of my vet called that morning to put down one of my beloved retirement horses.

EPM, is a devastating neurological disorder that attacks the spinal column. Bruno is presenting all the classic symptoms.

Bruno is 30 something. Winter is coming and my vet, Bruno’s owner and myself feel we cannot put this horse through a painful process of treatments at his age and under these circumstances.

I feel pressure as I think about my new volunteers and picture welcoming them to the ranch with my opening remarks, “Good morning, welcome to your first day at the ranch. We are now going to euthanize a horse.”

I want to say goodbye to my sweet horse in private, without interruption and questions about where the rake is and how to turn off the barn lights.

So I’m mad- I feel tightness in my jaw, a big knot in my stomach and a sour mood-taking root.

Just then I look out into the horse paddock and catch sight of my mare Sage. Sage is pinning her ears and running around with an ugly snake face, baring her teeth and pushing the other horses all over the place.

“Ummm, my energy is in the space”, I thought.

So I stop, re-center myself and ask the question, “what new perspective can I bring forward to produce the outcome I desire today?”

My volunteers arrive, I explain softly and deliberately that living on land and with animals is neither romantic nor sympathetic.

I tell them about Bruno and offer them a chance to leave if it doesn’t feel Ok to stay. They all opt to stay. 

Natalie slips a rose quartz crystal my pocket and offers to brush Bruno before the vet comes. All three women want to go and meet him and upon doing so, offer their prayers and love. Elsie, whose mom has recently past away, delivers profound words of wisdom that reinforces my intuition that it’s Bruno’s time to go. Debra gives me a hug and whispers, “you did so much for him, he is a lucky horse.”

Finally, the vet arrives and confirms what we already know….and we say our final farewell to sweet Bruno.

We stand together, a newly formed herd comprised of wise women.
I feel deep appreciation and trust, feelings that often take me a long time to develop with people.

As the sun sinks, I said goodbye to Nat, Deb and Elsie. I welcomed in a new perspective shaped from a difficult day, inspired by honoring a brilliant and noble horse named Bruno… now running free with his spirit herd.


WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Horse Sense for the 21st Century™ Alyssa Aubrey, CEGE Incorporates horses in human development through Equine Guided Education. www.thecenterforequineguidededucation.com.